Reading Other Blogs
- Morgan S. Harper
- May 13, 2016
- 4 min read
So, the other day a friend of mine had shown me two blogs (I put the links below.) They were about 21 gentleman/lady traditions that many people don't use anymore, but they should still apply. Some example are very obvious:
Men
open the door for her
pull out her chair
walk her home or to safety
pick up the check
walks on the outside of her, closest to the street
holds the umbrella over her
Ladies
no shocking or rude language
dresses tastefully for the occasion
phone rules
time frame
You can go to the links to check out the others, but I want to point these out. I believe that many of these lost traditions should continue. Some of these things can be done whether your not you are in a relationship. Even though they seem simple let me break them down and put them into perspective.
Ladies first.
Number 1, no shocking or rude language. No cursing, no inappropriate comments, etc. Think about it, we watch women on TV or videos, like real housewives (I don't watch this, but news spreads and things go viral) and we see these women, flaunting there wealth (not saying money sours a mouth), but they are poor with their mouths. When we watch these fights our mouths drop with some things they'll say. Don't be like that.
Number 2, dress tastefully for the occasion. Does the thought, Red Carpet, come to mind? Live by this: No THUT. No BRAMP. No Belly. Keep your skin and cleavage covered. THUT is the thigh and butt area. BRAMP is brassiere and armpit area. I grew up with two saying, one may be a little more offensive than the other, but it's a warning. "Modest is hottest" and "Be classy not trashy." I find that the good man you desire doesn't desire this look.
Number 3, phone rules. Who here likes to go to bed early (or try too) and/or gets up late? Maybe you are a mom and you put your kids to bed by 8:30pm. Do you want someone to call and possible wake them? No. Who here likes getting woken up with a phone call? I don't. Normally a 9pm to 7am is a good time not to make calls, (consider time-zones too.) Emergencies don't apply.
Number 4, time-frame. As the link says, your time is precious. When friends call me and say, "Hey, want to hang out today." Normally, I say no because I'm busy. If they called two or three days in advance, I could have probably moved that service appointment.
___________
Time for the men.
Numbers 1, 2, and 3 are taught in etiquette classes. Besides the fact that it's kind and polite to do; if you are dating a girl and you do this, that's romantic. If she doesn't realize it then, she probably will later.
Number 4, pick up the check. As a rule of thumb, the man should pay. On occasion, if she offers, let her pay, but since you will be the provider, provide for her. Girls, don't be upset with a guy who feels like he has to pay. Guys, make her feel like she's worth it.
STORY: I was dating this guy one time and we had to have a conversation about this. See, my sister and I had an extra ticket to a concert and needed a ride. When we asked if he wanted to go, but he'd have to drive, he jumped on the opportunity. At some point we decided to stop at a gas station for a some sodas and snacks since there wouldn't be any vendors. We all grabbed what we wanted and I, to his frustration, pulled out my card before he could and paid. Eventually, we came to an agreement. He paid for meals and I paid for gas station snack stops. Honestly, I loved the disagreement and to know he was willing to buy for, not only himself, but for my sister and I as well, he earned some more respect from me.
Number 5, walk on the outside of her, closest to the street. My grandfather does this, just like my mother does it when she's with kids. They're response is, "I'll make a bigger dent." Funny yes. True?... also yes. Likely no one will jump the curb, but if you do this, maybe she'll notice and you can use that line. A line that's not only funny, but tells her you care about her safety so much so that you are willing to put yourself between her and harms way just to protect her. It's funny way of saying, "I care about you, so I'll protect you," with your actions.
Number 6, hold the umbrella for her. This, like numbers 1, 2, and 3 can be summed up as the chivalrous thing to do. As my dad said, when I asked him why men should do this, "Because it's what they should do. Same as putting your coat down on a puddle so the lady can walk over it, just so she doesn't get her feet wet." Well said dad, well said.
Finally, for both genders, manners. The thing mom always scolded you about as a child and maybe to this day. Say please and thank you. Chew with your mouth closed. Don't say 'yes' and 'no', but rather say, 'yes ma'am' or 'no, sir.' Step up your game and blow some minds! Kill them with kindness, as the saying goes. For those who say, "There's no way I would be able to do this. I'm just not like that." My response is this, "Really?... You truly believe that lie. Here's another saying, 'Fake it until you make it.'" Just like the sayings, 'practice makes perfect' or just 'practice, practice, practice,' if you work at it enough, it will stick with you. Plus, it's a good way to spread kindness within this world. The change start with you.